JAWing On – Life on Okinawa

In the previous two posts, I talked about bar hostesses and the male trickle-down effect. What about the female trickle-down effect? Yes there is one of those as well. What happens to the wives when those men are all out at the hostess bars? And how does working as a hostess affect how those females treat other females who happen to work at night?
Well, as far as what the wives are doing while their husbands are out running around depends a lot on what type of support system they have. When they are still young, most of the wives are out working in a variety of jobs. On Okinawa, it isn’t uncommon for them to be hostesses (many times as the mamasan) as well, once the infant has reached adolescence. One common scenario is the grandparents taking on the role of babysitter at night, while the mother goes to work.
When business is slow, it is very common for hostesses to frequent another club and try to round-up business. Once these women become the patron of another establishment, they expect to be able to treat that establishment’s staff in the same manner as they treat their own at their kisatens. In effect, they try to steal the other club’s patrons by, as Ling of Alley McBeal would put it, “dumb-stick” teasing the men. Because the profession of these women constantly entails drumming-up new victims, they are always on the job. When they encounter females who are naïve to the whole process, they use friendship as a means to manipulate the unsuspecting female into entertaining their customer or prospective customer. If they encounter a female who doesn’t believe in the use of female sexuality as a means to manipulate men, that female becomes a target of ridicule and on occasion physical abuse.

In my last post, I opened the subject of local men’s views of women. Let’s explore the trickle-down effect of this system. The attitude that women are put on Earth merely as someone to provide men entertainment is not limited to the night hostesses. I have worked in various jobs in my twenty-five years on Okinawa, and in every single one of them the local men I encountered seemed to think I was open game to the same kind of behavior that they display at the hostess kisatens. Basically, the majority of local men I have encountered think I am here to baby sit them, since I am not their wife. This behavior is not limited to strangers. The difference is because I am a foreigner, they think they can get a better deal on the product. All the men have an unwritten code on the behavior and expect you to take it in stride. Over the years, I have had so-called friends of my spouse treat me in the same manner. Even when they come to the club where my husband and I both work, they still try to play their little games. When you as an individual choose not to accept this behavior from them, they (following the rule of typical social behavior) seek to “destroy that which cannot be assimilated.” All of this undertow leads to some of the obnoxious behaviors I have discussed earlier in Pet Peeve posts. What many of these men don’t seem to fathom is that people as individuals will determine whether or not a particular type of behavior is acceptable for them. And if those women who do want to accept being nothing more than purchased male entertainment choose to, that’s their choice. But some women will not limit themselves to being nothing more than a babysitter/caretaker of little boys of any age.