JAWing On – Life on Okinawa

People who are so caught-up in their own world that they don’t get it! For those of you who think it’s been fun to cause trouble at the club recently, again, get a clue. So you really think that I am so weak-minded that I am going to stand by and let you turn our club into a total disaster area? Do you really think telling me that the reason you won’t come back to the club is because I won’t let you do whatever you want is going to change my decision? I have been dealing with the underlying hatred, prejudice, and anger of the local nationals since 1973! The only thing you few morons are going to do is ruin it for everyone else. Which is a real shame, because we normally have very good customers who know how to have fun without getting into anyone else’s face! It has only been within the past year that this wave of aggression has been taking place. First with the destruction of both toilet bowl tanks last December. Then in late spring with the onslaught of a couple of groups of people trying to disrupt our business and totally disregard our basic rule of using simple common sense manners. Now, for the past three weekends, this unwelcome behavior has reared its ugly face again. If you don’t get a handle on your behavior, you will leave me no choice but to take whatever steps are necessary to get it under control!

Well here it is Halloween time again. This particular holiday has really begun to take its hold over much of the island. Until about three years ago, I would almost never see retail stores with Halloween decorations. But with more and more international events and establishments on island, the retailers have seemed to have caught-on to the market value of the holiday. However, I have not seen evidence of the mainstay trick or treating for the little ones off base. This, as with most of the other holidays, is mainly another reason for young adults to go out and party. I hope you all have a safe and Happy Halloween!

Okay, so you fall for the typical image of Okinawans being a mystical, quiet, timid, easy- going culture. Well so did I thirty-one years ago. But my experiences have taught me that they are no different than any other culture, just less forward about their activities. A saying that I have heard often over here is “…no evidence….” In example, I have had an ongoing situation with my land development neighbor. We bought our house about fourteen years ago. It is old military officer’s housing built after WWII. When we bought our house it had a beautiful scenic view of the ocean. Well the locals decided they liked the view as well, after forty years and began building new homes basically on top of ours. And they had every right to build their homes.
The problems began when they waited until we weren’t home and then climbed a fence in order to make a property mark, with red spray paint, on the top of our house. Following that, another land developer built in back of us and thought he had the right to use our land to build a road to access his home which took all of his own property. He waited until we went to work and than built a wall partially on the land we pay rent for each year. Then he tried to have the telephone/electric company place the pole in my husband’s parking space which would have prevented my husband from being able to park there. Luckily, my husband wasn’t at work. He woke up and caught them after they had already dug the hole. What gets me is the workers didn’t even check to see if the person who made the request was authorized to move the pole. Soon there were more new homes and more people thinking they had the right to turn our rented land into road. We had dump and cement trucks tear up our car port, flower beds, cut our trees, etc. Not a single one of these people asked us, even if we were home, if we had any problems with this. Once it became obvious we didn’t want to give the land to an ever increasing population of new home owners, they would wait until we weren’t home to do their dirty deeds. Most of this came to an end about seven years ago when they finally finished building a new home right in front of our carport. Although the law states that to build a new home there must be a five meter access road and these people told my husband that they were just building a prevention wall to keep cars from a dangerous drop. What we ended up with is a new house within three meters that totally blocked our ocean view. Over here the rule seems to be, once it is there, whether legal or not, you can’t do anything about it.
About three years ago, workers came again. This time our water line was supposedly improper and outdated and they needed to change the pipe to a hose. Once more we had digging on the property due to a request from someone other than the owner without a proper authorization. This only tore the carport entrance a little, so no big deal. Well, this morning I opened the front door to find water company personnel out in our front area checking out the pipes again. Once more the land developer had made some request to have the pipes replaced (this time from hose back to pipe), which would have led to more digging on our property. And once again, even though we were home, the workers didn’t check to see if the person who made the request had the authority to request digging on someone else’s land. Now this land developer told my husband that he just found out that the water lines that extend from our carport supply his water. And he has been having a problem with water pressure. I’m sorry but that is just a little too much for me to buy. First, his daughter just built a new home next to his about six years ago. With him being a land developer, one would think that he would have easy access to all documents containing information on water lines, power lines, sewer pipes, etc.
This same man had our in-laws’ rented land torn-up, without their permission and while they were at work, so he could install a street light and has repeatedly tried to “widen” the road that provides access to several new homes, including his daughter’s. The thing is, the road was too small to begin with (it was only big enough for one way access). Then these people came in, built all these new homes (in which all of their land is used), and increased the traffic flow from three households to nine households. When they built the home in front of ours with less than three meter access, it made the road even more difficult to navigate. Part of our rented land is parallel to that home. We have trees and bushes on it as a measure of privacy and to help block some of the car fumes that now permeate our home because of the increased traffic flow. So now it is back to the situation of how obsessed is this man and will he have the workers come when we are not home again. If so, how much will get torn-up and reorganized this time?

Previously, I discussed the role of the hostess bars and the trickle-down effects on Okinawa. One might ask if they know what is going on why do the men still go to these establishments. As Donald Trump put it when Jay Leno asked him why he does what he does, “…the scorecard ….” For men, that’s usually what anything is about. It’s all just another game. Is he going to be the man who gets that illusive woman to break her pattern? Knowing that, the women over here figure why not make a few bucks off of it. The men figure it’s worth spending a few bucks on the pleasures of chasing women. And so on, and so on, and so on… What’s really funny is this so-called difference in men and women comes to a screaming halt when men meet a woman who won’t play the game. Usually what happens is the rules of social behavior take over. They gather together in a group and are as obnoxious, catty, and gossipy as women are in an attempt to show their disapproval and manipulate that female into playing the game. Bonus points to the group who can get that female to enter the game, and fifteen minutes of fame if it’s an individual! And all goes quiet on the Eastern front, as the information of another successful social conquest is passed through the island grapevine.

What is it with people who don’t know how to have fun without getting into other people’s faces? Most people go out to have fun, and there’s nothing wrong with that. But if your idea of fun is causing trouble for other people who are minding their own business and trying to have a pleasant time, than you are an a**hole! And as the saying goes, “what goes around comes around.” Call it karma, call it whatever you want. If you are going to be a jerk and get into other people’s faces, than you deserve what you get!

My online posts must be hitting a nerve with someone. I received several what I call “spam-mails” from a person who’s into online poker. They seem to think that it is the job of a blog to impart philosophy. Well, this particular blog’s mission is to impart life experiences and observations a viewed by a foreigner on Okinawa. I merely provide information on the many aspects of life on Okinawa. However, if you are looking for some deep thought how about this?

We say mankind is a creature of habit. What are habits? I see them as no different than addictions trained into the brain over a certain period of time. If a person is denied the ability to perform the habit, then “withdrawal” occurs. I propose that pleasure or happiness is nothing more than getting a “fix” of these addictions, whatever they may be. The real question is, if mankind is a creature of addictions, than who determines which direction and form these addictions are to take? Religion, business, who?

In the previous two posts, I talked about bar hostesses and the male trickle-down effect. What about the female trickle-down effect? Yes there is one of those as well. What happens to the wives when those men are all out at the hostess bars? And how does working as a hostess affect how those females treat other females who happen to work at night?
Well, as far as what the wives are doing while their husbands are out running around depends a lot on what type of support system they have. When they are still young, most of the wives are out working in a variety of jobs. On Okinawa, it isn’t uncommon for them to be hostesses (many times as the mamasan) as well, once the infant has reached adolescence. One common scenario is the grandparents taking on the role of babysitter at night, while the mother goes to work.
When business is slow, it is very common for hostesses to frequent another club and try to round-up business. Once these women become the patron of another establishment, they expect to be able to treat that establishment’s staff in the same manner as they treat their own at their kisatens. In effect, they try to steal the other club’s patrons by, as Ling of Alley McBeal would put it, “dumb-stick” teasing the men. Because the profession of these women constantly entails drumming-up new victims, they are always on the job. When they encounter females who are naïve to the whole process, they use friendship as a means to manipulate the unsuspecting female into entertaining their customer or prospective customer. If they encounter a female who doesn’t believe in the use of female sexuality as a means to manipulate men, that female becomes a target of ridicule and on occasion physical abuse.

In my last post, I opened the subject of local men’s views of women. Let’s explore the trickle-down effect of this system. The attitude that women are put on Earth merely as someone to provide men entertainment is not limited to the night hostesses. I have worked in various jobs in my twenty-five years on Okinawa, and in every single one of them the local men I encountered seemed to think I was open game to the same kind of behavior that they display at the hostess kisatens. Basically, the majority of local men I have encountered think I am here to baby sit them, since I am not their wife. This behavior is not limited to strangers. The difference is because I am a foreigner, they think they can get a better deal on the product. All the men have an unwritten code on the behavior and expect you to take it in stride. Over the years, I have had so-called friends of my spouse treat me in the same manner. Even when they come to the club where my husband and I both work, they still try to play their little games. When you as an individual choose not to accept this behavior from them, they (following the rule of typical social behavior) seek to “destroy that which cannot be assimilated.” All of this undertow leads to some of the obnoxious behaviors I have discussed earlier in Pet Peeve posts. What many of these men don’t seem to fathom is that people as individuals will determine whether or not a particular type of behavior is acceptable for them. And if those women who do want to accept being nothing more than purchased male entertainment choose to, that’s their choice. But some women will not limit themselves to being nothing more than a babysitter/caretaker of little boys of any age.

I was doing research for something else on the WWW and ran across what I think is a very good description of the stereo-typical view of how local men see women in the night life. The article is a pretty balanced look at “working night women” and provides two links at the bottom of the article with personal experiences. So if you are interested in how other people view Japanese bar hostesses, check it out So You Want To Be A Hostess!