JAWing On – Life on Okinawa

Living in Asia as a Western women can have its trying times. One of the more common ways it can be trying is when men think you agree with the typical Asian bar practice of accepting obnoxious behavior for money or drinks. Asian men do everything they can to promote this demeaning behavior as the “acceptable” manner in which women should act. Western men eat it up! I’m not a women libber, but I do think that the only time that gender matters is when a person is looking for a mate. Other than that, people are people (male or female- no matter what race, nationality, or social status). I don’t judge people by how much money they try to throw at me, but by their actions! (And trying to throw money at me is not an attractive behavior.) In Asia, Western men loose track of this simple, but basic, standard. The most common way to attack the nonaccepting female is with, “If that’s how you want to conduct business!” To me business is more than just the bottom line. It entails the type of people and the practices one deems as acceptable to set the tone of a business. Here are some things these “men” should consider ( since they seem to be without a partner for the night):

1) The old adage of “sex, drugs, and rock ‘n’ roll” is a dinosaur. Anyone who hangs-on to that belief is not worth the trouble of knowing – being associated with that type of person gives a one nothing but excuses and grief !
2) If you are flirting with me you must be pretty hard-up!!! (I’m not being self-deprecating but realistic-I’m 48 years old and my husband of thirty years owns and works at the same club!)
3) Maybe you wouldn’t be partnerless if you took a closer look at your attitude and behavior-an obnoxious drunk is not charming nor cute no matter how much money the person has!
4) If you think Asian females don’t understand just how desperate you are, try a Western dutch-style relationship with them (not going to happen!!!!!!).

Women who have to talk to other women’s husbands about their personal lives! I don’t know a simple way of putting it. There are some women who use their femininity to cause havoc in other women’s marriages. I’m not talking about mistresses, but women who don’t like the wife of a person so instead of being direct with the wife they don’t like, they do things to cause arguments between the couple. One of these is to be obvious by pursuing the passive/aggressive manner of “innocently” being flirtatious with the physique- hugs, hands all over the husband when they talk, etc. But the more damaging way is to “innocently” approach the target woman’s husband about personal troubles the aggressing female has with her current partner. All I have to say on this matter is:

1) If you have been putting-up with and complaining about dishonesty and abuse for year after year-quit whining!
2) You are a little girl not a woman-women take the matter to the source – you are the only one who has the power to change it!
3) Grow-up-very few true marriages are going break-up over such trivial nonsense.

These little girls might be successful in causing a small degree of disharmony between the couple, but mature women can see between the lines. If the married woman truly loves her spouse, she won’t allow the antics of these childish females to destroy her marriage!