JAWing On – Life on Okinawa

As any sociologist will confirm, being the “odd ball” in any environment can prove to be a major challenge. Given that I am in a very exclusive minority in this environment, I have had my fair share of less than pleasant situations. Somehow, I have always been able to overcome (even while confronting a major illness that affects only 1% of the world’s population) those challenges without physical aggression, threating physical aggression, mobbing (the adult term of bullying someone), or impeding on other people’s property. That ability to meet challenges while following these basic guidelines has been a great inner strength for me.

To me the glass is half full: if someone is constantly trying to jerk you around by using excuses instead of reasonable explanations, you can always fill the glass by finding a way to do it yourself. It’s less troublesome, more satisfying, and heck of a lot more fun and that way.

Given my lifestyle, I often encounter many talented individuals, some of who are extremely gifted. On occasion, someone asks, “Who is your idol?”

I do not believe in idols in that sense. (If I did, the closest would still be George Burns.) There are many very gifted individuals in this world. I admire the talent, but never forget that these are still people. People who face a wide array of challenges in life, just as the rest of us do. The manner in which the individual handles those challenges determines whether are not they command my respect. In addition, I always remember no celebrity, no matter how talented, is a God.

Almost every weekend someone new comes to the club and I inevitably get asked the same question, “What is it like living in a foreign place, specifically Okinawa, for so many years?”

Since this is the only place I have resided at for a lengthy amount of time, I can only surmise that it’s the same as any other place that a person lives for over twenty-five years. It has good points and bad points. Of course, having lived in other places tends to place more emphasis on the island’s strengths and weaknesses.

How can you believe in the brotherhood of mankind through music and not peace?

Simple, for those of us who were around in the ’60s, many of the followers of the cliche’s “peace” and “love” focused their energies in movements that culminated in what they were supposedly against, further conflict. However, those persons in the Okinawan rock scene, as with most musicians, chose to focus their energies in the creation of music as a means to express themselves, irregardless of their cultural and background differences.

One of the more unusual questions I’ve been asked by a local male while tending the bar at the club was, “Is being married to an Okinawan man better?”

I didn’t think this question could be answered honestly without an in depth discussion. Given the situation, being asked while I was busy at work, I also found it to be somewhat a leading question. So I just smiled.

If I had had enough time I would have explained that given that I have only been married once I have no point of comparison. Also, I married my husband for the person he is not because he is from Okinawa. I wouldn’t still be with him 31 years later and working with him every weekend for the past eight years if I didn’t like the person he is. Has it always been a smooth marriage? No, we even went through three separations. But given that we only dated each other 6 weeks prior to our engagement and were married 6 weeks after that, there were many unknowns to be worked out. Furthermore, the Okinawan divorce rate is the highest in Japan (the last time I had been informed of the rate it was similar to the American rate and stood at 50 percent), so I do think we are one of the lucky couples that was able to overcome the cultural differences in the expectations of what a marriage was as well as stereotypical images we had of each other’s cultures.

When people find out that I have lived on Okinawa for just about forever, I often get asked if my household is American or Japanese style. I find the question a little perplexing since it is an indicator of someone who has probably never lived around a foreigner in America. When I was growing up it was very common to meet foreign spouses of service members that were friends of my parents. The one thing I found in common amongst the foreign wives was that their manner of maintaining household duties didn’t change much from the activities they would do in their native lands, such as cooking. The style of cooking was usually the same as what they grew up with. So when people ask if I cook Japanese or Okinawan style foods, I simply reply not really. The way I see it is that particular type of cooking is available at most of the local eateries, so if I’m looking to munch down on some tempura on any given night, I just go to a local eatery. But the types of eats that I grew up with are not so common over here, so that’s what I cook at home.