JAWing On – Life on Okinawa

It’s mid-August. As summer draws to an end, the 2 to 3 a.m. calm is over taken by the annual onslaught of typhoons that “hit” Okinawa. Although typhoon season officially begins in May, rarely are we seriously affected by a large amount of major storms until the end of summer. Then we are hit with a barrage of medium to large systems until November. Yesterday we jumped from the “normal condition” watch to “it’s beginning to hit us” within a matter of minutes. The local weather bureau wasn’t even expecting any affect from the current system at all. For newbies, it can be a little daunting. But for the old timers, howling winds and dancing trees are just another part of life on Okinawa.

Living in Asia as a Western women can have its trying times. One of the more common ways it can be trying is when men think you agree with the typical Asian bar practice of accepting obnoxious behavior for money or drinks. Asian men do everything they can to promote this demeaning behavior as the “acceptable” manner in which women should act. Western men eat it up! I’m not a women libber, but I do think that the only time that gender matters is when a person is looking for a mate. Other than that, people are people (male or female- no matter what race, nationality, or social status). I don’t judge people by how much money they try to throw at me, but by their actions! (And trying to throw money at me is not an attractive behavior.) In Asia, Western men loose track of this simple, but basic, standard. The most common way to attack the nonaccepting female is with, “If that’s how you want to conduct business!” To me business is more than just the bottom line. It entails the type of people and the practices one deems as acceptable to set the tone of a business. Here are some things these “men” should consider ( since they seem to be without a partner for the night):

1) The old adage of “sex, drugs, and rock ‘n’ roll” is a dinosaur. Anyone who hangs-on to that belief is not worth the trouble of knowing – being associated with that type of person gives a one nothing but excuses and grief !
2) If you are flirting with me you must be pretty hard-up!!! (I’m not being self-deprecating but realistic-I’m 48 years old and my husband of thirty years owns and works at the same club!)
3) Maybe you wouldn’t be partnerless if you took a closer look at your attitude and behavior-an obnoxious drunk is not charming nor cute no matter how much money the person has!
4) If you think Asian females don’t understand just how desperate you are, try a Western dutch-style relationship with them (not going to happen!!!!!!).

Women who have to talk to other women’s husbands about their personal lives! I don’t know a simple way of putting it. There are some women who use their femininity to cause havoc in other women’s marriages. I’m not talking about mistresses, but women who don’t like the wife of a person so instead of being direct with the wife they don’t like, they do things to cause arguments between the couple. One of these is to be obvious by pursuing the passive/aggressive manner of “innocently” being flirtatious with the physique- hugs, hands all over the husband when they talk, etc. But the more damaging way is to “innocently” approach the target woman’s husband about personal troubles the aggressing female has with her current partner. All I have to say on this matter is:

1) If you have been putting-up with and complaining about dishonesty and abuse for year after year-quit whining!
2) You are a little girl not a woman-women take the matter to the source – you are the only one who has the power to change it!
3) Grow-up-very few true marriages are going break-up over such trivial nonsense.

These little girls might be successful in causing a small degree of disharmony between the couple, but mature women can see between the lines. If the married woman truly loves her spouse, she won’t allow the antics of these childish females to destroy her marriage!

On April 19 we lost one of our beloved pets, Twinkie. She was a mutt that had been part of our family for thirteen years. It was a difficult loss, but we knew it was her time. We have another mutt, Kato who is three. We all took some time to adjust to life without Twinkie. Around July 13, we decided it was time to adopt another pet so Kato would have a play mate. We went to Karing Kennels and found the absolutely most perfect match for Kato’s character. So, we adopted the six week old mutt. For the past few days our neighbor, who has two boys, has been eyeballing the pup. Yesterday, he was brave enough to talk to my husband about how adorable he found our new addition, Jaco. (It seems their puppy died while taking a walk.) My husband told him where they could find puppies for adoption. This morning at 8a.m. and 10a.m. I saw the man standing near our front porch, eyeballing Jaco again. It has raised a “red flag” in my consciousness. I find it a little alarming that the neighbor is so enamored with the pup that it has obviously become an object of desire. The only question that remains is will the neighbor act on the desire?

As a small business operator on a small sub-tropical island, one of the more difficult aspects of operation is the lack of basic supplies. A few times a year, I like to through minor surprise events which require a certain amount of decoration. We have the usual events, Halloween and New Years, and for the past two years I’ve also thrown in the Unofficial Start of Summer Celebration. When trying to order party supplies, I am faced with persons on the other end who lack international procedures. Not everyone is comfortable with using credit card information online, especially with so many security risks. Yet the sales personnel at these companies inevitably get totally confused when trying to organize a system which includes payment by international money order. With globalization through the internet, one would think it to be in the best interest of these companies to review their Standard Operating Procedures and set-up a SOP that includes the market of individuals at companies who prefer not to use credit card info over the net.

Each year the military bases try to hold “open-house” festivals to help promote friendship and sharing between the local and military communities. This year the weather just hasn’t been very cooperative. Almost every one of the scheduled festivals has had to be cancelled or postponed due to typhoons or thunderstorms. Luckily, last weekend Camp Kinser was able to hold a rescheduled Kinser friendship Fest. These festivals are especially important during this time of year because summer break for Japanese students usually begins at the end of July. The celebrations bring a much needed release for the pent-up energy of the vacationers. They also provide a brief break for the parents. And everyone usually has a good time with the limited exploration of the “unknown” territory of a military base.

Tipping on Okinawa is usually reserved for businesses frequented by Americans. I tell my regulars that I don’t think it is necessary to tip. If a customer does decide to tip, it is supposed to be in gratitude for good service rendered, not a bribe for special treatment in the future. Yet some people try to claim that I should provide them special treatment because of the amount of tipping they have done. The usual claim is that they have tipped over one hundred dollars in the previous month.

1) People should have a realistic idea of how much the service person makes in tips prior to making such a claim.
2) A service person usually knows exactly who does the tipping and approximately how much.
3) Not all service persons can be bribed into doing what is disadvantageous to the equal and fair treatment of all customers.

With Obon approaching, I am reminded of the first time I helped my mother-in-law with setting-up the dinner table. Coming from the U.S., I am accustomed to having a dinner napkin as part of the dining set-up. Well, my mother-in-law handed me the usual paraphernalia associated with Japanese dining, a bowl of rice, chopsticks, and tea. I was setting the table, when she called for me from the kitchen. I had placed the rice and tea on the table, but didn’t know where to place the chopsticks. Since a napkin wasn’t available and I didn’t want to place the chopsticks directly on the dining table, I quickly stuck them in the rice and returned to the kitchen to further assist my mother-in-law. Then next thing I knew, there was a loud exclamation of shock being exuded by my father-in-law, who had entered the dining room. The loud yelp was immediately followed by a roaring burst of laughter from my mother-in-law who had gone to find-out what the problem was. My husband came running into the kitchen quickly explaining that the manner in which I had placed the chopsticks in the rice bowl was reserved for honoring deceased ancestors during Obon and funeral ceremonies. With the locals being as superstitious as they are, my father-in-law was totally stunned when he saw his rice. Needless to say, I have never made that mistake again.

In the summertime, one of the first mistakes new people to Okinawa make is looking for the ice cream truck. I remember my first summer here. My sister and I were on base and thought we heard the familiar sound of the bells of a neighborhood ice cream truck. Quickly, we gathered our change and went running in the direction where the sound was coming from. We looked everywhere, trying to get a little break from the summer heat. When we finally did find the truck, it ended-up being the local garbage truck. We gave each other a blank stare and disappointedly returned home, laughing all the way!